Ask Dr. Barb: Strategies to avoid eating for comfort

Make and keep a sensible shopping list to avoid foods that trigger out-of-control eating. Pixabay photoDear Dr. Barb,

I am a single person who enjoys cooking and baking, but I fear that I have become obsessed with food. During the pandemic, I have been working from home, unable to travel, get together or go out with friends. I find that I am almost always thinking about what I am going to eat. Having a good meal seems to be my only pleasure these days, and eating is sometimes the only thing I have to look forward to. Even with the vaccine, I worry that it might be difficult to break this pattern. I do exercise regularly, but I am afraid that eating constantly will soon catch up with me. Could my focus on food be a sign of depression? Do you have any suggestions that might help?

Dear Reader,

Surveys are showing how the social isolation and the uncertainty of how to stay safe in the ongoing pandemic are taking its toll mentally. Now more than ever, individuals are struggling with feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger. Consequently, alcohol and drug abuse are on the uptick, as well as overeating and over exercising.

In your case, working from home, living alone and cut off from enjoyable social routines, you must be feeling some or all of the depressive symptoms mentioned. It seems that the routine of eating has become a source of emotional comfort for you. Without accessing other sources of pleasure, you turn to eating, which allows for temporary escape and immediate reward.

Nevertheless, when life suddenly seems so out of control, the focus on food as a sole source of pleasure can go too far. Eating then turns to be obsessive and, like any other addictive behavior, it becomes compulsive in nature. It is a good thing that you realize that you are stuck in this unhealthy habit and that you are seeking help before it becomes worse, even once you become vaccinated.

To begin with, in order to help yourself, focus on your self-care! Start by making and keeping a sensible shopping list to avoid buying foods that trigger out-of-control eating. Instead of loading up on sweets and carbs, consider healthy snack options to keep in easy reach like a veggie tray with hummus or a bowl of fresh fruit on your countertop.

Research shows that there are benefits to healthy eating. Healthy foods help reduce anxiety, improve energy and can boost mood. During a pandemic, these benefits are invaluable and improve one’s ability to cope and sustain willpower.

Nevertheless, if you take an all-or-nothing approach, only eating healthy foods, your efforts will become unsustain- able. Trying to be too strictly in control, ultimately, may lead to an uncontrollable binge. And, the feeling of self-defeat and shame that often follows will make it harder for you to stay motivated.

The best approach is to try to achieve a healthy balance and variety in your food choices. Focus on eating carbs, sweets and fats more moderately. Enjoy healthier options like vegetables, fruits and whole grains more generously.

Besides using self-care in your eating, try to bring more moments of pleasure into your time at home. Since you no longer have to commute to work, make the excess time an asset. With more time, it easier to try new pleasurable interests.

Perhaps there is a hobby you have always wanted to take up or books you wanted to read. There might even be old friends whom previously you haven’t had time to catch up with. Reach out to them!

On the other hand, try to stay clear of obstacles before creating new activities. If your goal is to take better care of yourself, you want to figure out how to make it as easy as possible. If the goal can be made easier, you are more likely to succeed.

For example, if you aim to practice better self-care, try to practice it in 15- to 30-minute increments throughout the day. This can include pleasurable activities like listening to music, calling a friend or even taking a short walk. In general, some of the best advice to be given in times of crisis, is to try to stay positive. Negative thinking that the pandemic will never end only will add to your down mood.

One strategy to help keep positive in outlook is to put a pen and a notebook by your bed and do a nightly stress-dump of all the negative things on your mind. With the bedside notebook, you also can get a head start by making a short to-do list of all the fun things you can do the next day.

At the end of the day, reflect on three good things that happened, large or small. This exercise helps decrease anxiety, counters depression and builds emotional resiliency. Right now, you may miss your pre-Covid social routines, like going out with friends. However, what we miss about the old routines often has more to do with the comfort of their regularity than sometimes even the activities themselves.

In many ways, times of uncertainty and feelings of loss come and go as part of the life cycle. It is best to learn to navigate through them in ways that are as healthy as possible. The good that we can extract through them can be learning more about ourselves and our unrecognized potential. Even living through the unprecedented, challenging times of a pandemic, one can grow stronger and become more adaptable for future crises.

Barbara L. Rosenberg, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist whose Summit practice serves individuals of all ages, as well as couples and families. She previously chaired educa- tional and social programs for the Essex- Union County Association of Psychologists. Contact her through BarbaraRosenberg.com or call her office at (908) 277-4206.