Ask Dr. Barb: A plan for sticking to resolutions

Dr. Barbara RosenbergDear Dr. Barb:

I don't really believe in making resolutions, but there are a lot of things I hope to accomplish in 2013. I find I'm sometimes sidetracked and don't always follow through as well as I'd like. Procrastination is a problem. How can I stick to my goals?

— Mike M.

Dear Mike:

Almost everyone procrastinates some of the time. Human nature is such that one is less likely to procrastinate when a task is easy or pleasant. If what you want to accomplish is difficult or burdensome, the task can cause anxiety. When we're anxious about a task, we are more likely to seek other activities that bring us comfort or gratification instead of stress.

Staying on track with long-term goals and following through with challenging tasks can mean delaying comfort and reward. It requires willpower. Building willpower -- like building any strength -- requires lots of practice and energy. To stick to a goal, you must balance your efforts and not use up all your energy.

Do this by taking short breaks and giving yourself intermittent rewards. To motivate yourself, you might think of three words, each beginning with the letter B: Begin (slowly), Build (stamina in short segments), and Balance (with rest and reward). Then begin, build and balance again. Through exercise, your willpower, like your muscles, gradually becomes stronger.

Taking breaks and choosing rewards for doing hard work is not the same as letting yourself become sidetracked. Getting sidetracked means you are probably taking too long a break from the task, and you risk not completing it. The question to ask is, "Am I procrastinating by using distraction to avoid stress or am I rewarding myself to recharge my energy so I can stay on track?” Putting off challenging tasks can be less stressful for the short term, but anxiety and procrastination increase over the long run as incomplete tasks and unmet goals accumulate.

As an example, don’t put off beginning that new project at work; it may not be as difficult as you imagine, and you will only experience greater stress the longer you avoid beginning. Once you begin, break the task into manageable segments to avoid burnout. In between getting through each part, stop and reward yourself. Among things to get done in 2013, building and strengthening your willpower might be your most self-rewarding accomplishment in the New Year!

Barbara L. Rosenberg, Ph.D, is a licensed psychologist and chair of educational and social programs for the Essex-Union County Association of Psychologists. Her Summit practice serves individuals of all ages, including couples and families. To contact her, visit her website.